Archive for January, 2010

Today is a good day. It is a day I awoke with minimal pain. Any day this happens is good. We talk a lot about the grief we feel when we lose someone we love, but what about the grief we experience when our life is dramatically altered by an accident or illness? Read the rest of this entry »

I am spending the morning reflecting on the year gone by like so many of us do this time of year. In doing so it got me to thinking about why we do this ritual. Why is it we have the need to go back over what we have accomplished, what we did not accomplish and how we will always do better the upcoming year?

They say everything stems from two emotions – love or fear and today I would like to address the later in hopes it may just create more of the good stuff for you in the year to come.

Fear has been defined as False Evidence Appearing Real. This is important because  fear creeps in and sabotages our lives more ways than we can count. We actually make excuses for fear when we say we don’t have time, or we can’t do something, we are not good enough to master a certain skill, we are not worthy of a great relationship, our body is too this or too that…. I could go on listing the many hats fear wears to throw us off track while it secures us in a strangle hold. In fact when left unattended, fear can leave us wounded on the edge of life’s winding road.

But what if  I told you that fear could actually be a friend and very useful tool in achieving your dreams? The idea is not to rid ourselves of fear but rather use it to our advantage. How? By first knowing what it looks like and admitting it when the feeling arises. Acknowledging the emotion begins the process of disarming it. Remember the part above where I said “False Evidence Appearing Real”? Now is a good time to really take a closer look and ask yourself some questions about what you are experiencing. Let’s use an example. Say you are interested in losing twenty pounds in 2010. In your heart you want to do this but in your mind your hear your inner critic saying ” You’ll never be able to lose weight. You have tried before and it never works, you will just fail again like always.”  A useful question to ask yourself here would be something like, “is it actually true I can not lose the weight?” “Is it true that because certain diets did not work in the past no other diet will work for me?” How true is it that I always fail?” Byron Katie, author of several best sellers and a self help genius uses this process which is known as “the work”. (see thework.org)

Another way to rein in this negative voice is to recall a time when you were successful, no matter how small or huge the success was. Allow yourself to bring that moment back to life -where you were and how it felt to experience what you truly wanted. Often you will find the same tools used before work in many different circumstances.

Above I mentioned that fear could be a friend and positive aid. Stick with me for a moment and let me explain. Our emotions are a strong indicator of whether or not we are on track with our true selves. I dare say it is impossible to live without fear at times in your life. But what if instead of letting it work you over, you allow yourself to see that fear is nothing more than a warning? A warning that you may be drifting off course of the path to your dreams. A warning that you may be compromising your values. A warning that reminds you of all that you are capable of?

I challenge you for the upcoming year to practice this simple exercise. Check fear for the truth and then gently ask yourself what is fear showing you that may need a slight correction. Embrace this part of life along with joy to live your life full out.