Archive for April, 2010

New post: How Does The Power of Choice Affect Transitions? http://cli.gs/e4uQ5

Value#3 The Power of Choice

This is a very important value for me, actually more and more all the time as I seek to increase the clarity of my life and act with greater intention.

The power of choice holds each and every one of us in its grasp and dictates our destiny. The later part of last week through the weekend was an opening reminder for me. Let me explain what happened: Read the rest of this entry »

Post Edited: Value #2 – Loyalty and Grieving http://cli.gs/dztJm

Value #2 Loyalty

Loyalty is a passion that mirrors strength and a deep feeling of being grounded. Being loyal says, “ I stand by you, my thoughts, or actions no matter how tough the going gets.” It is an expression of being true to something or someone we value.

In everyday life, loyalty can serve us as a foundation for staying on course. For example, have you ever had those days when you feel disconnected from something important you are working on?Staying loyal to the “why” of your project allows you to take small consistent actions that eventually bring clarity and put you back on track.

Loyalty is of great service in the building of relationships. It is often a very secure feeling that makes you feel you are not alone. It can fill you with a sense of accomplishment and pride in knowing that you stand for something or someone in the grand scheme of things.

When you commit to being loyal to yourself, you are extending permission to not having to be perfect. You are allowing yourself to grow, explore, succeed, and have failure. Loyalty to yourself is an expression of self-love.

Being loyal is a powerful commitment of choice to ride the waves of uncertainty, having faith in the end results. As expected, as life evolves and changes so does the decision on how to use loyalty. One of the strongest examples of what I am talking about is when you lose a person you love. In the grieving process often times, there is a tendency to hold onto mourning because of a sense of loyalty. You may feel that by not being as sad as you once were, that somehow you are no longer being loyal to the passing of that soul. You may feel guilty when you are beginning to move forward with your life.

I would like to share three tips that will help in directing loyalty in a more positive way when you are grieving or going through a transitional time:

• One of the best and easiest places to start is to recall the many good times you shared. Use as many of your senses as you can with this. For example, if it was a special outing, remember what the day or night felt like, was it sunny and hot, maybe it was raining and cold, or perhaps it was evening. Allow yourself to FEEL as many of the details as possible. Being thorough like that creates a stronger connection to those memories, which promotes a sense of loyalty.

• If you feel yourself becoming sad, or feeling guilty ask, yourself if the person you are grieving for would want you to feel this way. Knowing you are in alignment with another’s wishes brings forth a strong sense of loyalty.

• Make a list of all the characteristics this person had that you admired. Beside each write a sentence or two that reflects how those qualities enhanced who you are and what lessons you learned from them. Being mindful of the ways others have enhanced your life is a lasting and beautiful way to be loyal.

I hope this helps. Using the three tips listed above has helped through many times when the way has been clouded with uncertainty and I have felt guilt and sadness creeping in. Give it try –it may be just what you are looking for!