My Blog

The Horse Whisperer”

In quiet, patient kneeled silence he waits, back turned.
He knows the difference between drawn and driven.
Slowly, hesitantly she is drawn
Like water seeking the lower pool
She steps forward in hesitant curiosity.
Could she trust the hospitality offered so passively?
Could he understand the pain, anger and fear she felt?
He feels her breath warmly exhaled on his back.
There is no lurch of harness.
The gift of trust is stillness.
The gentle Spirit plants the seed of healing.
She listens poised to flee
Then drinks the message of forgiveness
In God’s time – KAIROS .

Today is absolutely beautiful. Not unlike many other cool spring days the brilliant blue sky is host to many white feathery clouds. Splashes of yellow in the form of forsythia and daffodils dot the foreground to the backdrop of horses and cattle grazing on tender green fields of grass.
Mr. Cat is silently stalking imaginary mice and I can’t help but think, “Catch a REAL one!” while the dogs investigate the creek bed to see who has passed through in the middle of the night.
Oh joyfully, thanks to God, this is who I am. The animals, and this countryside that angels guard so diligently is my home and these everyday miracles are my life.
And today walking out across the fields I am even more aware of this gratitude and the beauty only silence can offer. There has been a huge shift that I am keenly aware of. I know I am no longer the same.
Standing on the hill the breeze is crisp and full of life, just like me. Strong and wise I stand there in the fullness of my identity. It is a powerful moment as I realize I have reclaimed another piece of my life that the house fire had previously stolen from me. The piece that had kept me a prisoner in my own home, on my own land too fearful to leave, reliving over and over the sight of coming home to smoke pouring out the roof.
I breathe in deeply and let out a big sigh and for the first time in many years remember what it is like to take a fully relaxed breath that is void of a massive painful ache in my chest.
I touch my heart and unscrew the invisible cords of negativity and then symbolically raise them up and way from my body. I ask for blessings of Reiki from the Holy Spirit to heal this wounded energy with it’s eternal light. The air softens, the birds sings and another chapter of grief has it’s ending.

Mid life is a hallmark for women. We have many victories under our belts. And just as we have won and felt immense joy we have also suffered loss and experienced painful grief. Because grieving is an inevitable chapter in our life the more prepared we are, the easier the read will be. When we educate ourselves and strive to keep our life as a balanced wheel we will navigate the potholes of crisis with smoother steering.

Today I am sharing 5 tips that will not only enhance your day to day living but help support you in times of greater need.

1) Don’t be a people pleaser – Learn to set and keep boundaries- nothing is more stressful in times of loss than the feeling that you must say yes to everybody’s request. Creating an equal flow between giving and receiving helps us give joyfully and receive graciously so that we don’t deplete our resources. In times of grieving it’s ok to receive more knowing when you are back on track you will have a cornucopia to give.

2) The body really is a temple. The body houses the incredible “you” so it is imperative that we give it the respect and thanks it deserves by making good choices about what eat and then making sure we nourish it with exercise as well. A key indicator that we are functioning on overload during the grieving process is extreme lethargy and brain fog or lack of concentration. When we fuel ourselves with good nutrition and exercise, our immune system will be better equipped to handle high periods of prolonged stress and sadness. Sometimes it is a great idea to enlist the help of a nutritionist, and or personal trainer to take the guesswork out of optimum physical health.

3) Live with passionate – Passion keeps the embers inside of us burning brightly. It evokes emotions of joy that are created deep within. Passion delivers reason and celebration. Engaging in activities we are passionate about in times of grief or sadness releases us even if temporarily from those heavy feelings so that we are able to refresh ourselves and continue healing. It’s like taking a min vacation or break from all that we are trying to find our way through and gently reminds us of the good things life offers.

4) Connect with your higher being – Never more prominent than in a time of crisis are we aware or unaware of the higher being each and every one of us is connected to. If you already feel that connection than allow yourself to draw closer to it. If you are unaware, then it is normal to ask questions such as “What do I believe in?” “Who am I?’ “Why am I here?’ As painful as loss and difficult transitions may be, they are often a space that can connect us to a more aware and higher quality of life. A coach who specializes in this type of work can often assist you in opening doors that at the moment may seem closed.

5) No woman is an island – Enlist loving support. Maybe it is family or friends, or maybe your church. It can be those that you share a hobby with. The idea here is to be with those who share commonalities with you in some capacity you care about. This may or not be the place to talk about what you are feeling but rather a place that supports you in other ways that are part of your life. It is people or a place that give you a “full” type of feeling and some feeling of relief.

I hope this helps you put together some very foundational pieces of living a balanced life everyday of your life.

Jennifer Shaw, the compassionate Grief and Loss/Mid Life Transition coach, eliminates her client’s deep emotional pain, helping them breakthrough through their fears of the unknown, and leading them to step confidently into a life of happiness and success. Jennifer gets to the heart of the matter utilizing her unique HEAL® Process, which combines the ability to ‘fine tune’ and create a custom plan for groups or individuals that delivers the results they desire leading them to achieve their ultimate goals and live a life of true purpose.

For more information on coaching through loss and mid life transitions and receive a complimentary session please visit http://www.jennifershawcoaching.com. Download your free e-book on how to survive any major crisis while you are there.

It is with much love and gratitude she shares this journey with you.

I heard a really good sermon at church today titled The Pretenders”.

It was all about going through life masking our true self to the outside world.

This got me to thinking about how often this occurs when we are grieving for some type of loss in our life. Read the rest of this entry »

This morning in anticipation of spring, I took Zoey my Airedale and Brussels, my mini Schnauzer, to the pet groomers to get the winter grim and wool off. Farm dogs live a different life than city dogs; at least they do here, Read the rest of this entry »

One of the most painful and fearful parts of grief is the first stage and that is being willing to come face to face with loss. It’s human nature for us to not be engaged in living our lives when we are heartbroken and afraid.

As painful as allowing yourself to actually be in the situation is, it is far more painful if you continue to suffer through pretending life is a different way that what it actually is.
Below are 4 tips on how to actually move into the present or as I refer to it, the “here and now”.

1) Stay connected to living your own life

When you focus daily on living a quality life with mind, body and spirituality balanced and in alignment, and you suffer a loss, you then have multiple areas of support to pull from. Stay connected to who you are. Don’t depend on others for your happiness. This will serve you well both in times of joy and loss.

2) Being in denial is ok for a short period of time.

Denial or victim mode basically sends out the message to the outside world, ” Don’t bother me, or ask anything of me, feel sorry for me because I am wounded right now”. This is an important part of our self-survival mode. It is a protection for us while we come to grips with the sorrow and fear we may be trying to face. It is only when we cling to this stage that it becomes non-serving. Grant yourself permission to feel like a victim, knowing that by allowing these feelings you are taking away the power of being victimized.

3) One good feeling is all it takes.

It’s difficult facing a loss so instead of trying to force yourself to deal, trying this gentler version; find a happy thought about the person or part of your life you lost and focus on it. Shifting from a negative thought pattern to a positive one allows you to release resistance and open a space to slowly begin to come into the present. You come into the moment feeling full of life rather than empty and hollow.

4) Trust and reach for the guidance from within

Loss is a very humbling experience. It brings us to the focus of how very fragile life, as we know it is. Reaching within for relief is not about having the answers but rather knowing somehow, someway the answers will come. Asking for guidance is simply saying, “Please send guidance my way”, and then trusting it is on the way.

These 4 simple steps give you the act of willingness and the act of willingness creates movement. Movement is the constant in our life that allows us to achieve happiness and success on level we choose.

Jennifer Shaw, the compassionate Grief and Loss coach, eliminates her client’s deep emotional pain, helping them breakthrough through their fears of the unknown, and leading them to step confidently into a life of happiness and success. Jennifer gets to the heart of the matter utilizing her unique HEAL® Process, which combines the ability to ‘fine tune’ and create a custom plan for groups or individuals that delivers the results they desire leading them to achieve their ultimate goals and live a life of true purpose.

For more information on coaching through loss – contact me!

One of the most impactful changes in our life revolves around the loss of someone we love. Though we know this sad part of life is inevitable, many times we are unprepared to deal with the emotion of grief.
Navigating through this difficult time can be less stressful when we understand that we still have the power of choice. Below is a list to help you retain your power of choice in dealing with loss.

1) Choose to Prepare

Be clear on your own personal affairs and in expressing how you want things handled. Make sure loved ones know where all-important records such as a will, living will, phone numbers for attorney, minister etc are. Express how you see your passing handled. Do you want a burial service or perhaps a cremation? A well spelled out plan on all the arrangements takes a lot of uncertainty off those you love that are left behind It also helps them feel more complete in honoring your wishes.
Find an appropriate time to ask your loved ones for the same information and explain to them with great compassion you are asking so that all arrangements are handled in accordance with their wishes.

2) Choose to Practice Forgiveness

Life can be fragile and altered in an instant. Harboring anger toward others or ourselves can leave us with great remorse that can be difficult to overcome in the event of a loved one passing. The ability to forgive readily not only relieves us from guilt of what “should have been”, it improves the quality of available time we share in the present moment.

3) Choose to Speak the Words, ” I love you” on a regular basis.

Letting those you care about know how you feel gives you reassurance that they understand how special they are in your life. This can be a great comfort to everyone when faced with an untimely loss.

4) Choose to be strong in Faith.

Discover and connect to knowing that the ebb and flow of life is intentional and part of a much grander plan than our own existence here on earth. Take the time to understand what faith means to you and call upon it to help ground you daily and especially in times of loss.

5) Choose to allow yourself the willingness to be in the moment.

No matter how painful loss is, denial keeps us a prisoner of suffering. Seek help from a professional such as a Grief and Loss Coach if you are having a hard time admitting what has happened and moving forward in your life.

Wow- what a ride we have had! When I say we I mean all my inspiring and brilliant co-authors and colleagues of my first book, ALIGN, EXPAND, and SUCCEED –Shifting the Paradigm of Entrepreneurial Success.

For six short months all authors wrote, conversed, learned, taught, and marketed. And boy did we market! Read the rest of this entry »

I had a wonderful opportunity last week to visit one of the private colleges nearby my hometown. I was invited by one of the professors to come out and see not only the college itself but also more specifically their equine major program. Read the rest of this entry »