Pet Loss Coaching

Pet Grief and Loss Coaching

For many of us, our pets are not thought of as just an animal but rather a highly regarded member of our family.
For a child a pet can be that special buddy that explores the big world side by side with them. Or perhaps they are the patient companions that get dressed up in doll clothes and come to the tea party when everyone else is too busy. For a young couple a pet may very well be a prerequisite for starting a family, teaching responsibility that goes along with caring for another live being. For many who are alone, a pet eases away the loneliness that is often a factor in single living. Whatever the role one thing is for sure, we learn to need their unconditional love, their adoring eyes, their cheerful expressions and when they are gone we are at a loss.

Some of the feelings that come up in the grieving process are:

• Feeling victimized and thinking, “why did this happen to me?”
• Becoming angry because we were robbed of something we loved.
• Feeling guilty as if somehow it is our fault that our pet is gone.
• Feelings that we should be getting over the loss in a more timely fashion.

Grieving for your pet is completely natural and unique to you. The truth is no one else knows how you feel or how long it should take you to come to terms with your loss. At this time it is important to have a safe place where you can freely express your feelings in a non-judgmental environment. Feeling free to acknowledge your thoughts and emotions and examine them for what they are will allow you to come to terms with what has happened and lessen any anger and helplessness surrounding the loss. Realizing that it is normal for you to feel sad and being ok with that will help you release the guilt you may be feeling. Stay away from those remarks from others such as ” it was only a pet”, or “you aren’t over this yet?” Though these remarks are meant to be helpful, they only shed light on the fact that something must be wrong with you for feeling the way that you do. Nothing is further from the truth.

Sometimes we feel the need to immediately go out and get a new pet. We want to ease the hurt our family members or we may be experiencing. Before doing so, it is important for us to find a way to honor the life of the one we lost. This prevents us from having false expectations of our new pet, which will have its very own special personality and place in our heart. By honoring the pet we lost we are coming to terms with their passing and making room in our hearts for another pet in our lives. This rite of passage can be as simple or elaborate as you choose. For example, one of my friends who breeds Irish Wolfhounds has a lovely way of closure. After she says goodbye to one of her wolfhounds and has them cremated, she digs a hole in the ground and takes a small amount of the ashes and places them in the hole and then on top plants a lovely dogwood tree in their memory. Every season she is then reminded of all of their wonderful memories together. Involving your family in deciding on a way to say goodbye helps everyone gain a feeling of closure.